Inner child healing - My journey

If you have been following me on social media, you would have seen I was a part of the SHEISME online conference, where over 50 women told their stories over five days. It was one of my goals to empower women, and what better way than to tell my story.

To be authentic and vulnerable to strangers was not something I would usually sign up for in the past. My inner knowing knew better and spoke louder than my logic. It was the best thing to happen to me. I was able to reflect, give value and inspire other women through my story.

I signed up for the talk in the early summer. I had no idea if I would be chosen or if this talk would come at a time when I was deep in personal healing. My Inner child healing reached a peak at the end of summer. It led to significant realizations and a quantum leap in my spiritual journey.

As children, we learn to negotiate the world around us and to form connections with others—beginning with our parents or primary caregivers. What we experience during these formative years stays with us forever, shaping how we navigate life and relationships. As a child of South Asian immigrants, intergenerational trauma played a massive part in my upbringing. The survival patterns deeply engrained, be it due to abrupt relocation, partition or lack of education and poverty, were passed onto us. This trauma is usually neither acknowledged nor dealt with.This held trauma impacts every aspect we relate to the world—in professional and academic environments, romantic relationships, and friend groups. 

For me, inner child work has been a vital component of the spiritual awakening journey because it reconnects me with the child within. When we reconnect with this fragmented part of ourselves, we can discover the root of many fears, phobias, insecurities, and sabotaging life patterns. This is where I feel true healing and liberation happen. As the inner child feels increasingly heard and loved and becomes more integrated, the joyful qualities of childhood begin to re-emerge. We can more easily access playfulness, awe, and curiosity; find magic and beauty in the world around us; and feel warmth and empathy in our relationships. 

Nurturing these qualities, I consciously created space for creativity, play, or time in nature, on my own or with loved ones. Rather than seeing the world as a source of potential threats to my safety and sense of self, I began to experience it as full of wonder, magic, and possibilities. I changed careers, created empowering artwork, and designed clothing that resonated with my identity.

The stress of completing the script was overwhelming as I felt emotionally drained from previous weeks of healing. At the same, I was forced to, in essence, journal. It was cathartic. It was the push I needed to write. The pressure to speak my truth was massive. The overwhelm reached its peak two days before the talk. I had written the script but wanted to give it one final edit. 

Although I have been on this healing journey for a number of years, recalling certain memories can still be emotionally draining. That evening I took a friend's advice to take a break and headed to a hot yoga class.

Coming out of that low was hard. After many years in the healing journey, I realized the energy and pain become heavier just before a big release. Trust me when I say it is easier to surrender, to feel the emotions and let go of what's hard to hold.

With a lot of courage and loving care from those around me, I always navigate out into the light. Through these peaks and troughs, I have come to understand just how much your environment is conducive to healing. I have a peaceful, loving, kind home life. I'm grateful and aware of the privilege. 

After a sweaty yoga session and a much-needed chat with another friend, I felt like something had shifted. I felt ready. I need to remind myself that It's ok not to be ok. It's ok to take that break. 

The following day I could think straight. I slept well; I felt grounded. I was ready to tackle the final editing of the script. I was buzzing, excited, yet nervous. I had no control over who would have access to my interview, and that made me feel vulnerable. The time came, and I felt so emotional. To think a week prior, I was still determining if I would be ready!.

I had written my script, and I was proud of it. During the talk, I felt many emotions and a deep vibration throughout my body…I was speaking my truth. My soul heard every word. I felt each cell in my body come alive in remembrance. It was a moment I will never forget. 

At the depths of healing, I question why I put myself through these self-inflicted purges, and then I remember. I refuse to switch hats and masks with every role that I play in this life. I am Nisha, and I want to show up fully as myself to everyone and everything that I do. That means really knowing who I am. I'm always going to take the road that helps me grow and heal, no matter how tough, ugly or lonely it can feel.

To overcome childhood trauma and effectively work with the repressed memories and the painful emotions that emerge is a must. I can no longer numb. I will continue to offer understanding, compassion, and love to myself. That means taking care of myself, so I can show up fully as I am. It's not always easy, and I know that life can get the best of me at times, but I am aware, and that is a start. I understand more and more that if I am not consistently taking care of my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, then I am not showing up fully in everything I do.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that forces us to repress our inner child and "grow up." But the truth is that while most adults are physically "grown-up," they never quite reach emotional or psychological adulthood. In other words, most "grown-ups" aren't adults at all. This leaves most people with puerile fears, anger, and traumas that fester in the unconscious mind for decades. The body and mind are not separate. Whatever painful experiences we undergo in life are stored within our bodies as trauma. This trauma manifests as muscle tension, mysterious aches and pains, autoimmune disorders, and endless other illnesses.

 So what steps can you take today to start your self-healing journey? 

1. Tuning into your emotions. 

We need to start feeling things from the inside. This enables us to learn more about ourselves and tune into our feelings authentically. Knowing our emotional landscape will empower us to develop self-love, self-awareness and self-compassion.

Ask yourself, "How am I feeling?" Are you tired, moody, excited, intrigued, sad, nostalgic, disillusioned, or angry? Get into the habit of assigning a word to how you feel.

If you were brought up in the West, You tend to ask people, "How are you doing?" rather than "How are you feeling?" We need to shift away from that mindset. A person's worth is not based on how much they do. In fact, a person's worth isn't externally based at all.

2.Cultivating your intuition. 

Intuition is a core Divine quality. Yet because so many of us live in our heads, we become disconnected from our hearts and souls (the source of our intuition!).

Sadly, the result is that most of us struggle to differentiate the voice of fear from intuition. Some of us even outright reject the value of intuition altogether!

To begin cultivating your intuition, try any of the following practices:

-Begin meditating (this helps to silence your mind and allow intuitive flashes to emerge)

-Tune into your body through mindfulness exercises 

 3. Slowing down 

We don't always need to achieve something. So make some time during the day to slow down and take in the moment. This might mean keeping a gratitude journal. Slowing down, for instance, could be as simple as turning off your phone and going outside to enjoy the sunset. 

4. Discovering more about what it means to be embodied in this life as a spiritual being. 

This might take many forms, for example:

• Practising yoga and breath-work - Deep breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which in turn calms the mind.
• Practicing body-centred mindfulness-Taking care of basic needs (e.g., getting good quality nutrition, water, sleep etc.). 
• Creating morning and evening routines- This will help you stick to your self-care practices.

In a world full of chaos, it is easy to cling to the anxiety of feeling out of control. Shift your mindset and allow yourself to focus on what you CAN control. This sense of control, no matter how small, can help your mind focus on the task at hand instead of focusing on the chaos around you.

If this resonates, I've hope I've pushed you little  further towards your authentic self. If you're already living your best life, I applaud you, and if your ok as you are, that's perfectly fine too.

My purpose in sharing my journey is to bring a sense of normalcy and open conversation about healing intergenerational trauma , especially in the South Asian community. Everyone has their unique lens and perspective on their own journey. It's through non-judgment and compassion we can encourage dialogue for change.